Ollie was out in his
> pasture in northern Minnesota, when he took a
> lightning-quick kick to his crotch from a cow.
> Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground. As
> soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.
> Ollie said, "How bad
> is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and
> my fiancé, Lena, is still a Virgin ... in every
> vay."
> 
> The doctor told him, "Ollie, I'll have to put your
> willy in a splint to let it heal, and to keep it straight.
> It should be okay next week, but leave it on dere as
> long as you can." The doctor took four
> tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint,
> and taped it all together ... quite an impressive work of
> art. 
> 
> Ollie mentioned none of this to Lena, they were married
> and went on their honeymoon to
> Duluth. That night in their room at
> the Motel 6, Lena ripped open her blouse to reveal her
> beautiful, untouched breasts. She said, "Ollie
> ... you're the first vun! No vun has EVER seen
> deez." Ollie immediately dropped
> his pants and replied, "Look at dis Lena ... still
> in da crate!"
>