Dead Duck
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Dead Duck

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As 
she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his 
stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. 

After a moment or two, the vet 
shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, 
has passed away." 

The distressed woman wailed, 
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied 
the vet.. 

"How can you be so sure?" she 
protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or 

The vet rolled his eyes, turned 
around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later 
with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his 
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from 
top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and 
shook his head. 

The vet patted the dog on the 
head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he 
returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also 
delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and 
strolled out of the room. 

The vet looked at the 
woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most 
definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." 

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and 
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she 
cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, 
the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the 
Cat Scan, it's now $150."

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