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Henry J's Blog & BS
Posted on Thursday, August 28, 2014 10:01 AM
This was just published this morning. If you didn't see
it...you now have a chance to challenge your ???President Barack Obama is responding to the
growing threat from islamofascist terrorism by: - Assembling a crack team of analysts to come up with the
best solution.
- Assembling a crack team of operatives to liquidate the
terrorists’ leadership.
- Assembling a crack team of allies to isolate the
terrorists.
- Assembling a crack team of cronies to play 18 at Farm
Neck Golf Club.
In the caliphate imagined by
ISIS:- Everyone will enjoy religious tolerance.
- Everyone will enjoy intellectual freedom.
- Everyone will enjoy basic hygiene.
- Everyone will enjoy weekly honor
killings.
The Gaza conflict is a result
of:- Hamas’ refusal to stop attacking civilians from behind
other civilians.
- Israel’s refusal to allow Hamas to fire artillery at
Israeli kindergartners.
- Hamas’ refusal to use foreign aid money for anything
other than weapons.
- Israel’s stubborn refusal to stop being so
damned Jewish.
The most influential world leader
is:- Vladimir Putin.
- Angela Merkel.
- Whichever Chinese guy is next to be purged by the
Central Committee.
- Valerie Jarrett.
President Obama’s biggest foreign policy success
has been:- Arming both (all) sides of the Syrian/ISIS/Iraq
combatants.
- Not scuffing Russia’s tires on their way into the
Ukraine.
- Knifing Israel in the back.
- First lady Michelle Obama’s European shopping
adventures.
Obama has expanded surveillance of Americans
because:- It’s important to know who might be planning terrorist
activities.
- It’s important to know who might be planning criminal
activities.
- It’s important to know who might have donated money to
the Tea Party.
- It’s important to know what you buy on
eBay.
The politically motivated IRS harassment of
innocent taxpayers was initiated by:- High-ranking Obama administration officials, possibly
including Obama himself.
- Rogue agents acting roguishly.
- Lois Lerner’s hard drive, which became self-aware and
immediately committed suicide.
- The janitor in the IRS’s Cincinnati field
office.
Operation Fast and Furious
is:- A secret program in which the Obama Administration sold
guns to terrorists and then lied about it to Congress.
- A secret program to identify the best actor to replace
Paul Walker.
- A secret program to put an oversized spoiler on every
Honda Civic in America.
- A secret program to make drift racing seem less
ridiculous.
The situation along the U.S.-Mexico border could
best be described as:- The unavoidable result of Obama’s total
incompetence.
- Chaotic danger.
- Dangerously chaotic.
- The future of America; and you better get used to it,
gringo.
The recent San Francisco-area earthquakes were
caused by:- A nearby fault line.
- Nancy Pelosi’s excessive water usage and/or
flatulence.
- Football fans jumping on the 49ers bandwagon.
- “Global warming.”
Tropical Storm Cristobal was caused
by:- A combination of low atmospheric pressure, warm water
and insufficient wind shear.
- College students partying away the last days of summer
on South Beach.
- Obama’s continued refusal to close Guantanamo
Bay.
- “Global warming.”
Hillary Clinton’s presidential bid is floundering
because- She’s “flat broke.”
- Her latest book sales are almost as low as Obama’s poll
numbers
- No one really likes her.
- She’s been pinned down inside her compound by imaginary
Serbian sniper fire.
Former President Jimmy Carter will serve as the
keynote speaker at the Islamic Society of North America’s Convention
because:- He wants to build bridges between the cultures.
- This way, he’s exempt from qualifying from the Holocaust
Denier’s Tour for 2015.
- It’s time these Muslims got serious about hating
Jews.
- No one else will talk him.
Attorney General Eric Holder traveled to Ferguson
in order to:- Bring the full weight of federal law enforcement to the
scene.
- Make sure all the local thugs, hoods and gangsters are
getting the best deal on AK-47s.
- Burn frequent flier miles to burn.
- Avoid Chicago; it’s too shoot-y this time of
year.
Sharpton left Ferguson
because:- His work delivering unity and healing to the community
was complete.
- The Marriott St. Louis Airport isn’t as nice as Trump
Tower.
- No one in St. Louis sells his brand of hair goop.
- There are way more Jewish-owned businesses to burn down
in New York.
During his six years in office, Obama has
lowered:- The price of basic staples like groceries and
gasoline.
- The number of Americans who have given up on finding
work.
- The number of illegal aliens flooding the
country.
- His handicap. ( Hint: If he played for shit, he wouldn't
get a smell! )
The stock market has reached record highs
because:- Obama’s economic policies have produced a steamroller of
an economy.
- Labor costs are down since 100 million Americans are
permanently unemployed.
- The banksters and their pinstriped Mafiosi are cashing
in their chips with Obama.
- Who gives a damn? That’s “Wall Street, not Main
Street.”
If Federal Reserve Chairwoman Janet Yellen pushes
for rate increases, the result will be:- Fewer Americans buying new homes.
- Fewer Americans buying new cars.
- Fewer Americans putting their money in banks.
- Who gives a damn? That’s “Main Street, not Wall
Street.”
Obama’s style of governance can be best described
as:- Respectfully bipartisan.
- Honestly in tune with the taxpayers.
- Firmly rooted in constitutional dictates.
- Imperial.
I’d attach an answer key, but if you didn’t knock these
questions out with relative ease, I’m not sure the answers would make much a
difference to you.Jim Morris Twilight
Imagery, Inc.
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