Attorney General Eric Holder released the following
statement Monday following his briefing of President Obama..at the 19th hole on
Fire Island--oops---Martha's Vineyard, on the latest developments in the federal
(un)civil non-rights investigation in Ferguson, Missouri:
“As I informed the President this afternoon, the full
resources of the Department of Justice are being committed to our federal civil
rights investigation into the death of Michael Brown. ( Equipped with millions
of taxpayers dollars for housing and feeding 40-50 agents while they
re-interview all the witnesses, the ones who wanted to be witnesses and the ones
who Al hired to "nail the Honky cop" even though they weren't even in the
neighborhood at the time of the "hiney-ous"...Al's pronunciation...murder.
)
“During the day today, more than 40 FBI agents continued
their canvassing of the neighborhood where Michael Brown was shot. ( Later today
or early next week...whichever comes first... we will move our investigation to
Miami, Dallas and Phoenix in an attempt to question anyone who may have passing
through Ferguson at the time of the crime. ) As a result of this investigative
work, several new interviews have already been conducted with Brown's friends
who were reportedly smoking pot with him prior to the shooting. Their answers
were reported to be "somewhat unclear" said the agents, "But their weed was
kick-ass!"
“Moreover, at my direction, an additional medical
examination is being performed on the body of Michael Brown. This autopsy is
being performed today by one of the most experienced medical examiners in the
United States military. ( We caught up with him just as he was cleaning out his
desk, Barak. He's one of the millions of service thugs we're kicking out of the
Military. ) I am confident this additional autopsy will be thorough and aid in
our investigation even though he told us to "kiss his conservative, white
ass!".
