At home and abroad,
when it comes to the big issues, Obama is increasingly missing in action or
focused on less important matters like the decision to fund prisoner's requests
to turn in their male appendages for...well...you know.So let's follow this King of Hearts on a round of golf.
We pick him up at the third tee of the Congressional Course:Commentator: Mr. President,
Serious fires are burning around the world and you are playing golf, fundraising
and issuing unnecessary executive orders regarding sexual
orientation and gender identity. Shouldn't you be at the White House working on
these problems?President: ( derisively ) What
problems? I work my ass off every single day...24/7/384...uh...you know--days in
a year. Why shouldn't I have some recreation time? Besides, I think better on a
golf course and I get away from Michelle and her incessant bitching.Commentator: Let's talk about
the border crisis. We learned this week that you and your staff ignored multiple
warning signs over the past two years that a crisis was building on the southern
border. A former federal law enforcement official told the
Washington Post, “There were warning signs, operational folks raising red
flags to high levels in terms of this being a potential issue.”President: Oh! That crisis.
Well, as you know, the Palestinians want their independence and there is a land
war going on in Gaza, which is a suburb of Jerusalem, I think. Bad thing, you
know. Missiles, tanks, war planes, bullets and things like that. There's this
group of Arab freedom fighters there...much like the Minutemen in Colonial
days...and they're kicking some Jew ass, let me tell you. Let's
see...hmm...Humus, I think they call themselves. One of Michelle's recipes.
Tastes like crap!Commentator: The last I heard,
Mr. President, was that Israel was getting the upper hand.President: ( in agitated voice
) You gotta quit using those Jewish publications for reference, Boy! They lie!
All of 'em! If there's anything I can't stand, it's a liar! The whole damned
nation of 'em are liars! Not only that--but they believe in God! Now
stand back while I flawlessly drive this little white ball down the fairway. (
chuckling ) God, but I love to hit little white
balls.Commentator: The border to
which I refer is the Texas border.President: Oh! That one! Those
damned Texans are a pain in my butt! They're as bad as the Jews. And they love
their guns. Let them deal with problem. Hell! They have more money than the IRS.
They're why I have to campaign all the time. They keep the G.O.P. coffers full.
I wish they'd secede. ( There is a quiet period while the President addresses
and hits his little white ball ) DAMN!!! FORE!!! FORE!!! See...all this talk is
ruining my game! Oh! It hit a white woman in the head...that's cool. Bounced
back into the fairway.Commentator: But Mr. President. Now
that over 50,000 unaccompanied children and thousands more single adults and
families have crossed the border, your “catch-up” strategy would seem to be to
treat the symptoms, not fix the problem.President: Look. This is off the
record. You're in the media. You're on my side. In an attempt to look like I'm
doing something, I asked Congress for $4.3 billion in “emergency” funds to
address the security and humanitarian issues on the border. But the
lying Congressional Budget Office review of my request says I'm planning to
spend less than one percent ($25 million) of those funds in 2014. They
can't be trusted, you know. They're loaded with conservatives. They're even
accusing me of trying to solve the border crisis by throwing money at the
problem. Hey! I'm probably the most fiscally aware president this nation has
ever had.Commentator: You're being accused of leading from behind,
that you lead from nowhere – you find yourself constantly reacting, and as
appears to be the case with today's round of golf, increasingly disengaging.
Your own press is saying that you seem completely sidelined and uncertain of how
to deal with some of the world’s worst actors. I suppose it’s easier to keep up
with your tee times and fundraising schedule than figuring out a strategy to
contain Russia and terrorist threats in the Middle East.President:
( clearly enraged ) Who the hell are you...or anyone else...to suppose or
question anything I do or say? I'm the Big Daddy! I'm the Messiah! These crises
will have to be worked out around my very pressing and important schedule! I
will pick and choose what issues I wants
to engage upon and the time and manner in which I want to do so.Not you, nor anyone else..except maybe my
handlers...have a right to expect me to do anything I choose not to do. This is
NOT the America you think you know: this is MY America. America dances to MY
music...My whim!Commentator: Unfortunately,
Sir,that is not how the world works: Ignoring
the hard issues doesn’t make them go away. If you don’t want to pick up the
phone at 3 a.m. and speak to the needs of the citizens of these United States,
then you shouldn’t have run for president.Jim Morris
Twilight
Imagery, Inc.
