One act play
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One act play

At home and abroad, when it comes to the big issues, Obama is increasingly missing in action or focused on less important matters like the decision to fund prisoner's requests to turn in their male appendages know.So let's follow this King of Hearts on a round of golf. We pick him up at the third tee of the Congressional Course:Commentator: Mr. President, Serious fires are burning around the world and you are playing golf, fundraising and issuing unnecessary executive orders regarding sexual orientation and gender identity. Shouldn't you be at the White House working on these problems?President: ( derisively ) What problems? I work my ass off every single day...24/7/ know--days in a year. Why shouldn't I have some recreation time? Besides, I think better on a golf course and I get away from Michelle and her incessant bitching.Commentator: Let's talk about the border crisis. We learned this week that you and your staff ignored multiple warning signs over the past two years that a crisis was building on the southern border.  A former federal law enforcement official told the Washington Post, “There were warning signs, operational folks raising red flags to high levels in terms of this being a potential issue.”President: Oh! That crisis. Well, as you know, the Palestinians want their independence and there is a land war going on in Gaza, which is a suburb of Jerusalem, I think. Bad thing, you know. Missiles, tanks, war planes, bullets and things like that. There's this group of Arab freedom fighters there...much like the Minutemen in Colonial days...and they're kicking some Jew ass, let me tell you. Let's see...hmm...Humus, I think they call themselves. One of Michelle's recipes. Tastes like crap!Commentator: The last I heard, Mr. President, was that Israel was getting the upper hand.President: ( in agitated voice ) You gotta quit using those Jewish publications for reference, Boy! They lie! All of 'em! If there's anything I can't stand, it's a liar! The whole damned nation of 'em are liars! Not only that--but they believe in God! Now stand back while I flawlessly drive this little white ball down the fairway. ( chuckling ) God, but I love to hit little white balls.Commentator: The border to which I refer is the Texas border.President: Oh! That one! Those damned Texans are a pain in my butt! They're as bad as the Jews. And they love their guns. Let them deal with problem. Hell! They have more money than the IRS. They're why I have to campaign all the time. They keep the G.O.P. coffers full. I wish they'd secede. ( There is a quiet period while the President addresses and hits his little white ball ) DAMN!!! FORE!!! FORE!!! See...all this talk is ruining my game! Oh! It hit a white woman in the head...that's cool. Bounced back into the fairway.Commentator: But Mr. President. Now that over 50,000 unaccompanied children and thousands more single adults and families have crossed the border, your “catch-up” strategy would seem to be to treat the symptoms, not fix the problem.President: Look. This is off the record. You're in the media. You're on my side. In an attempt to look like I'm doing something, I asked Congress for $4.3 billion in “emergency” funds to address the security and humanitarian issues on the border. But the lying Congressional Budget Office review of my request says I'm planning to spend less than one percent ($25 million) of those funds in 2014. They can't be trusted, you know. They're loaded with conservatives. They're even accusing me of trying to solve the border crisis by throwing money at the problem. Hey! I'm probably the most fiscally aware president this nation has ever had.Commentator: You're being accused of leading from behind, that you lead from nowhere – you find yourself constantly reacting, and as appears to be the case with today's round of golf, increasingly disengaging. Your own press is saying that you seem completely sidelined and uncertain of how to deal with some of the world’s worst actors. I suppose it’s easier to keep up with your tee times and fundraising schedule than figuring out a strategy to contain Russia and terrorist threats in the Middle East.President: ( clearly enraged ) Who the hell are you...or anyone suppose or question anything I do or say? I'm the Big Daddy! I'm the Messiah! These crises will have to be worked out around my very pressing and important schedule! I will pick and choose what issues I wants to engage upon and the time and manner in which I want to do so.Not you, nor anyone else..except maybe my handlers...have a right to expect me to do anything I choose not to do. This is NOT the America you think you know: this is MY America. America dances to MY music...My whim!Commentator: Unfortunately, Sir,that is not how the world works: Ignoring the hard issues doesn’t make them go away. If you don’t want to pick up the phone at 3 a.m. and speak to the needs of the citizens of these United States, then you shouldn’t have run for president.Jim Morris

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