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Colonoscopy journal
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Henry J's Blog & BS

The truth about North Korea....watch this

https://www.facebook.com/ thepeoplebox/videos/ 444894925870008/

Uncle bob

My Uncle Bob was a staunch Conservative, and voted straight Republican until the day he died in Chicago.
Since then he has voted Democrat.

Never lose your grandson

Colonoscopy journal

If you've ever had a colonoscopy, you can identify with this.

Colonoscopy Journal: 

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis .
Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.
I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking,

I left Andy's office with some written instructions and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven.  I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation.
In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep.  You mix two packets of powder together in a one-litre plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water (for those unfamiliar with the metric system, a litre is about 32 gallons).  Then you have to drink the whole jug.  This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative.
I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch?
This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle...
There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt.
You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently.
You eliminate everything. 
And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another litre of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic.
I was very nervous. 
Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage.
I was thinking,
'What if I spurt on Andy? How do you apologize to a friend for something like that?' 
Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said.
Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand.
Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down.
Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.

At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode.
You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist.
I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.
I was seriously nervous at this point.

Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA.
I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me..

'Ha ha,' I said.
And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade.
If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea.
I slept through it.
One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt.
I felt excellent.
I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors.
I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

On the subject of Colonoscopies..

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous.
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1.  Take it easy Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before.
2.  'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3.  'Can you hear me NOW?'
4.  'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5.  'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
6.  'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7.  'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8.  'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9.  'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. ‘Dang, now I know why I am not gay'

And the best one of all:
13.  'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there.

How about this

Rather than a better planet for our kids , how about better kids for our planet  

Civil War

CIVIL WAR, is actually here!
The uniforms just haven't been picked out yet for each side

Soros dumping money into lobbyist

Why George Soros Is Dumping Huge Sums into Lobbying Efforts
Leftist billionaire spent more in first months of 2017 than whole previous year amid backlash

Amid a backlash against George Soros’ funding of progressive causes in countries across the globe, the billionaire’s lobbying group has significantly increased its activities, according to disclosure forms.
The forms, first reported on by the Washington Free Beacon, reveal that the Open Society Policy Center (OSPC), Soros’ Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit advocacy firm, has spent nearly as much money on lobbying efforts in the first half of 2017 as it did over the entire course of 2016.
In 2016 OSPC spent a total $5.6 million. In the first two quarters of 2017, it spent $4.6 million.
A large part of OSPC's spending appears to have been targeted against the Hungarian government's efforts to combat the influence of Soros' Open Society Foundations, the organization through which he funds radical left-wing causes worldwide.
From April to June, the group reported lobbying 17 issues, four of which involved Hungary and dealt directly with Hungarian efforts to limit Soros' activities.
The OSPC lobbied against both Hungary's Higher Education Act, which seeks to regulate Soros' Central European University in Budapest, and for the congressional bill H.R. 394, Supporting International Academic Freedom, which calls to protect Soros' American-accredited Central European University from regulation. The bill addresses "discrimination or harassment by foreign governments."
The third effort to subvert Hungary's attempt to protect itself from outside meddling came in the form of OSPC's lobbying against Hungary's Bill on Foreign Funded Organizations in Hungary, which requires foreign-funded NGOs to declare themselves and register with the government.
This was accompanied by support for H.Res. 353: Supporting a democratic Hungary and reaffirming the long-standing and mutually beneficial relationship between the United States and Hungary.
"His lobbying actions deserve all the scrutiny they get and more," Eddie Zipperer, an assistant political science professor at Georgia Military College, told LifeZette.
"It's his legal right to spend his money how he pleases even if it is to purchase the political power that — in a republic — belongs to the people," he continued. "But he does not have the right to engage in such a policy grab without scrutiny."
Hungary introduced its legislation targeting foreign-funded NGOs in March, and its law designed to regulate Central European University in April.
EU Ramps Up Pressure on Hungary in Battle Over Soros NGOs
Supranational organization now engaged in three-pronged legal action to bring Eastern European nation to heel
It is not the only country to try to fight Soros' global influence. His organizations are banned in Russia, and efforts have been made to limit his activities in Bulgaria, Macedonia, Serbia, and Slovakia. Soros' attempts to interfere in nations' internal politics have also been criticized directly by the Polish and Israeli governments.
Soros "is the Godfather of globalism and seeks to destroy national sovereignty in multiple countries," said Zipperer. "Every day more and more people across the world are waking up to the fact that billionaires, especially Soros, are using their money to recreate the world in their image."
Of course, Soros' efforts at protecting his legacy could backfire in the long run. "In a way, this sort of lobbying is destroying itself," Zipperer observed. "The more it goes on, and the more obvious it is, the more populist movements gain power — as we saw throughout 2016 and into this year."

North Korean fatboy warning

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Holy Mother of Big'uns

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